Stand-Up

Lyrics

I washed my hair with beer until I swallowed one The thought of it is enough to make me gag I tried to wash it down in various ways ?, gargling, filling my mouth, swishing it around

I heard that something that is hard to swallow Can leave an impression at the back of the throat Enough to sensation that feels as though the article is stuck I can corroborate this There have been times when it felt as though A hair was still on the back of my tongue Long after I got it out or down

The sensation has been that intense that I stuck my finger down my throat to shift one so I could swallow it or work it up by reverse reticulation Where the tongue is rubbed repeatedly against the upper palate or along the teeth Or by hacking

This is not funny The gag reflex is difficult to override There have been doctors who specialize in treating swallowing disorders The Queen Mother of Great Britain has had to be treated more than once

Once it was a fishbone I once had a fishbone stuck in my throat From a yellow-tail 5 centimeters long The bone, not the fish I caught it off of Florida The yellow-tail is also known as jack I drove to a hospital the doctor said I had a bone stuck in my throat When he reached in, I gagged, every time I gagged He grew impatient said it had to come out that it could come lose, go down, that it was that large it could puncture my esophagus he warned me If he couldn't get it with forceps he would have to take me upstairs, anesthetize me and operate My gag threshold remained what it had been despite his warnings Before operating he decided to try a muscle relaxant Hoping as he said that it would lower my threshold It slowed me down but I still gagged He got angry A passing nurse saw what was up Gave him a longer forceps and he got it first try

Chronology

• The Red Krayola
  • Mayo Thompson - vocals
  • ? - guitar
  • John McEntire - drums
  • ? - synthesizer