Sloths

From Red Krayola Wiki

Lyrics

'One day my husband - home with his wife Said, I've had a shock, the fright of my life You mustn't bitch, you mustn't fume Something awful is in the front room

'What is it?' I ask. 'Is it a mouse? Or the cat's had a bird and strewn guts All through the house?'

'No' says he. 'it's nothing like that 'Nothing at all to do with the cat The room's full of sloths, leaden, hypnotic Their lethargy soulless, the effect horrific.'

'What?' says I. 'You're mental, a looney You've got a screw loose. You can't confuse me.'

'No,' says he, 'I saw them all Hanging like balls all over the wall There were three toed sloths hanging upside down Their eyes ringed with darkness, just like a clown Some of them emitted plaintive wails Their long claws struck to the curtain rails.'

'So,' said I, 'you should be stuffed full of drugs With a straight jacket on to replace my hugs There are no sloths in this country Nor anywhere else in the EEC Three-toed sloths - Bradypus tridactylus Live in Guiana, a land quite far from this It hangs from branches - you can't dislodge it It's camoflagued with algae, you can't even see it The two-towed sloths - Chloepus didactylus Comes from Brazil - in the tropics - far off It has no feelings, not of anger nor of fear Its congenital lethargy prevents one ever coming here

'So my husband' he says, 'we'll see about that You watch it you witch.' then he grabs his hat

I rushed to the phone 'Psychiatrist, come to my house Bring needles, tranquilizers, Largactyl And you'd better bring the police My husband's quite ill.'

'So the police come and the shrink arrives It's the sort of thing on which they thrive I tell them my husband's mind's out of tune And tell them the story about the sloths in our front room'

'So the police and the shrink look at each other 'A phobia,' they say, '- or anxiety/Hysteria.'

'Now my husband comes home (He didn't know I'd been on the phone) He looks at the police and the shrink (He's off his head - that's what I think) They talk to him - they start to rap 'Relax,' they say, 'this is no trap Did you see a room full of sloths? Hanging like balls all over the walls

So my husband says 'she's a witch I saw nothing like that,' (and he calls me a bitch) 'The story she tells is completely untrue To know about sloths is to know what to do She's off her rocker, she's a looney She's got a screw loose, she can't confuse me.'

Chronology

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